THE CITY – Following the shocking murder of an aging industry, police are seeking an unknown generation for questioning about the crime. “At this point, the generation we’re looking for not…
Tag: Millennial
Millennials applaud new PC Optimum points as the only retirement plan they can afford
TORONTO – After recently buying Shoppers Drug Mart, Loblaw’s has merged the nation’s two most popular consumer loyalty points programs into the PC Optimum points program, finally giving mil…
Millennial villagers prefer to pelt Lottery winners with avocado stones
THE VILLAGE – A conflict is brewing between Baby Boomers who insist on using the customary rocks and Millennial villagers who want to shift to murdering Lottery winners with organic avocado…
Toronto woman finally saves enough to move out of parent’s house for one month
TORONTO – After working multiple jobs for several years and saving diligently, local woman Theresa Graham finally has enough money to move into her own apartment for one month before moving…
Single woman spends afternoon daydreaming about her ideal future sandwich
Victoria, BC – In the hours preceding dinnertime today, single career-woman, Kathy Maxwell, let down her hair and got lost in a daydream about her ideal future sandwich. “Don’t get me wrong…
Millennial with six jobs killing it, dying
TORONTO – Local woman Jess Nguyen, 26, is currently making a considerable amount of money working six part-time jobs, while also slowly dying of fatigue and several untreated illnesses. “It…
After consulting tenancy act, local woman decides to ask landlord for her kidneys back
TORONTO – After a fractious relationship with her landlord caused her to consult the Ontario Landlord and Tenant Act, local woman Huma Sayeed has decided to ask him for her kidneys back. “I…