EDMONTON – Connor McDavid and the Maple Leafs fanbase have agreed to a two-year, $25 million deferral of all overoptimistic conjecture about the Oilers captain one day signing with Toronto. The c…
Tag: Leafs
“I know it’s only the Preseason but…” says hockey fan about to make the dumbest prediction of all time
TORONTO – As the pre-season winds down hockey fans are using the preamble “I know it’s only the preseason but” to unleash their wildest and dumbest takes. “I know it…
Visibly trembling Oilers fan insists he’s not worried about McDavid contract situation
EDMONTON – With training camp about a week away and no sign of Connor McDavid signing an extension anytime soon, Oilers fan and visibly shaking from head to toe human being Malcolm Serrano …
“One day I’ll be dead and I won’t have to watch this team,” thinks Leafs fan to cheer himself up
TORONTO – In the wake of the Leafs discovering a new playoff performance low point even lower than their previous playoff lowpoints, fan Martin Scheffel advised that he takes comfort in the…
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up bullshit depending on whether we win
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a tot…
Leafs revamp power play by adding second pointless drop pass before entering zone
TORONTO – With their power play struggling worse than ever, Toronto Maple Leafs power play coach Marc Savard has introduced a new wrinkle that he’s confident will get the team over th…
Leafs confident they’ll keep winning as long as they get the best goaltending in the league every single night
TORONTO – As they continue to win games despite being completely unable to score goals, the Toronto Maple Leafs players and coaches expressed confidence that their success will continue as …
Rogers promises Leafs, Raptors fans that their teams will be just as successful as current Blue Jays
TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that …
Leafs announce that making Matthews captain is the best way to distract fans from fact they haven’t made any significant roster changes again
TORONTO – In a press conference scheduled for Wednesday, the Toronto Maple Leafs are expected to announce that, after much deliberation, they believe giving Auston Matthews the captaincy is…
Oilers fans not sure what’s worse: losing Cup or realizing Leafs fans were right about how good Atlantic Division is
EDMONTON – Down 3-0 to the Florida Panthers, Edmonton Oilers fans report they don’t know what is making them feel worse: the possibility of being swept out of the Stanley Cup Finals, …
