OTTAWA – Prime Minister Trudeau is refusing to end the Safe Third Country Agreement, or criticize the Trump admin’s policy of separating migrant children from their parents, noting that to …
Tag: Immigration
Trump Admin explains 1,475 missing migrant children “not so bad if you think of them as ‘animals'”
WASHINGTON D.C. — Amidst reports that Health and Human Services has lost track of nearly 1,500 unaccompanied migrant minors, White House officials have insisted the number is less horrifyin…
“I don’t want foreigners bringing their weird traditions to my country,” says man hiding chocolate eggs to honour dead deity
ARBORG, MB – Local man, Edgar Harris, 42, took time out of his annual Easter holiday traditions today to clarify his stance on Canada’s immigration policy, stating that foreigners are ruin…
Trudeau tweets message welcoming world’s refugees to Canadian prisons
OTTAWA – After a federal judge upheld the government’s right to indefinitely detain immigrants as it sees fit, Trudeau sent a triumphant humanitarian tweet, inviting refugees from all over …
Local man has soul removed to make room for more opinions
Timmins, ON – After years on a wait list, local man Paul Sutton is safely recovering from the surgical removal of his soul, which has allowed him to hold over 70 more opinions. “There’s sti…
Ugh. This baby boomer thinks he knows more than millennials just because the Gods have cursed him with prophecy
REGINA – All you 20-something’s get ready to roll your eyes, because we’ve got another baby boomer here who thinks he knows everything. Regina man Gary Parker claims he understands the worl…
Polls suggest Canadians want minorities to assimilate to culture they can’t define
CANADA – New polls suggest that 68% of Canadians want minorities to assimilate to Canadian culture while simultaneously having no idea what that really means. “Canada is a cultural mosaic,”…
Aboriginal tribe using new immigration law to deport all white people
OTTAWA – Following the passage of bill C-24, the Strengthening Canadian Citizenship Act, which gives the government powers to revoke citizenship and deport recent immigrants who have been c…
Canadian refugee illegally obtains what she calls ‘insulin’ so she won’t ‘die’
OTTAWA – A refugee who fled a war zone has been caught illegally obtaining what she calls a ‘life-saving medication’ for a condition called ‘diabetes’ so she won’t ‘die’. Shukriya Hanan, a …