OTTAWA – As the “freedom convoy” rolls closer to Ottawa, Conservative MPs are increasingly voicing their support for the movement, confident that this time will be different. &#…
Tag: Featured Post
“Probs just urine,” says woman who sat in wet seat on bus
VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was …
As Russia prepares to invade Ukraine, West rapidly deploys stockpile of vague condemnations
BRUSSELS – In light of Russia’s aggressive military buildup near the Ukrainian border, Western nations have ordered their stockpiles of vague condemnations to be placed at the highest…
B.C. unveils new “what you don’t know can’t hurt anyone” COVID strategy
VICTORIA – After weeks of struggling to adapt their approach to COVID in light of a large testing deficit and a completely unknown amount of infections within the population, the B.C. provi…
Inclusivity Win! The green M&M is getting an abortion
VIRGINIA – Mars, Incorporated, the company behind M&Ms, announced yesterday that it would be making a concerted effort to make its popular colourful candy more globally relatable and in…
Putin unsure if he’s in mood for Cold War or World War
MOSCOW – As a mustered force of 100,000 Russian soldiers stands by at the Ukrainian border, Russian President Vladimir Putin was reportedly spotted at his Novo-Ogaryevo residence debating t…
Ontario to reopen in-person dining on January 31st and then again on April 10th
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has just announced that restaurants and bars will be able to open indoor dining at reduced capacity on January 31st and then, following another lockdown …
Inspiring! This man has already completed his resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog pregnant
CALGARY – According to local sources, 34-year-old Damien Wilkes has already completed his New Year’s resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog heavy with child. “Last year I resolved …
Beijing’s claims 1st Omicron case ‘arrived through mail’ refuted by anyone who has ever used Canada Post
TORONTO – Claims that the first case of the Omicron variant reported in Beijing ‘arrived on a parcel sent from Canada’ are being met with heavy skepticism by the scientific community as wel…
“My fucking back!” reports nation
OTTAWA – Reports from homes across the nation have indicated that they’ve hurt their back shovelling snow once again. “God dammit, my fucking back,” said Keith, David, Ste…
