VANCOUVER – After years of advising the public to limit their paint drinking, scientists are now suggesting Canadians should avoid the consumption of paint entirely. “Groundbreaking new research …
Tag: Featured Post
Canadian NHL teams ranked by how furious I would be if they win a Cup before the Leafs
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Campfire ban impeding spooky exposition at beginning of ill-fated camping trips
MANNING PROVINCIAL PARK, B.C. – Chronic dry conditions and a high risk of forest fires have resulted in a province-wide campfire ban in British Columbia, leaving many campers completely unp…
5 subtle ways to let people know you’re not American while travelling abroad
It’s the age old dilemma for a Canadian travelling internationally: how to avoid the hate and ire much of the world has for Americans from being misdirected at you, an innocent Canadian, wh…
Canadians react to Pierre Poilievre’s “sexy” makeover
Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre has rolled out a new look in recent weeks. Gone are the distinctive glasses and suits, replaced by a permanent squint and tight t-shirts. We asked Canad…
Pierre Poilievre threatens to dox one Canadian who lives in a small home every day until he’s made PM
OTTAWA – Inspired by the negative backlash after he shared the address of a random small house that he called “a shack”, Conservative Leader and MP Pierre Poilievre has declared that he wil…
Quiz: Should you watch Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
It’s the box office battle that has already launched a thousand memes: Barbie v. Oppenheimer v. Paul Gross’ 15 year old First World War melodrama Passchendaele. But how do you know wh…
“Who gives a shit about the CFL?” asks man who recently started watching professional Pickleball
TORONTO – Local man Mark Huntings has expressed his firm belief that the CFL is a niche league that no one actually cares about, unlike the massively popular Major League Pickleball he rece…
5 Concerned Children’s Advertisers commercials that still give you nightmares even as you rapidly approach middle age
If you were a child in the 90s who spent a lot of time watching television (so basically 100% of children in the 90s), you probably still remember that feeling when Ninja Turtles, Reboot or Road …
“The fury of Ra washes over us, and only through sacrifice can He be appeased,” Environment Canada reports
OTTAWA – Lo, the heavens tremble and punish man for his hubris with a calamitous wave of scorching heat capable of rendering our souls from our body and casting them into the shadows of the Duat,…
