HARRISBURG, PA – At a campaign rally this week Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump fired off against rival Hillary Clinton, accusing her of being, among other things, ‘a stub…
Tag: Donald Trump
I was the first female nominee for president way before Hillary Clinton
By: Donald Trump There’s been a lot of talk about Hillary Clinton this week, and how she’s the first ever woman to be nominated for president of the United States of America. Well I&…
Trump promises America endless sexual pleasure through ritual mutilation
CLEVELAND – In a controversial speech at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump promised the United States that undying sexual rapture could be theirs, if only they would give the…
GOP hails Melania Trump as role model to nation’s strong black women
CLEVELAND – Following her stirring keynote address at the Republican National Convention, senior ranking GOP officials are now hailing Melania Trump as a role model for America’s strong black wom…
Trump promises working class voters he will build an even more marginalized group
CLEVELAND – About to accept his party’s nomination for President, Donald Trump assured a crowd of cheering supporters that if elected, he would create an ethnic/sociological group that was…
World just going to take a nap until the bad stuff goes away
EARTH – The entire population of the planet has announced this week that it intends to simply lie down for a little nap until all the evil, violent, and hate-filled things that occur daily disapp…
Gawker bankruptcy delays inevitable release of Trump dick pic
NEW YORK – In the wake of a $140 million dollar judgement stemming from a lawsuit against former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan, Gawker Media has been forced to file for Chapter 11 Bankru…
Sanders staying in race just to keep 20-year-old college student inspired
Burlington, Vermont – Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is remaining in the Democratic Primary race despite the little chance he has at winning so he can continue to inspire a bright-eyed…
Trump receives concession call from someone named “John Kasich”
WASHINGTON – Presumptive republican presidential nominee Donald Trump was interrupted during a foreign policy briefing by a concession phone call from an individual named “John Kasich”, who…
Ted Cruz raptured early
INDIANAPOLIS — Following a fierce primary battle, Senator Ted Cruz was rewarded for his staunch support of anti-abortion, anti-immigrant and anti-gay policies by being lifted away from worl…
