MANHATTAN – President-elect Donald Trump has reported being visited by, and subsequently ordering the deportation of, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come. The visitations…
Tag: Donald Trump
Trump appoints Kanye West to Secretary of Caring About Black People
NEW YORK – After a meeting this week, followed by a flurry of rumours and speculation, U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump has named Kanye West as Secretary of Caring About Black People. B…
Trump ‘thank you’ tour begins with stop at Macedonian fake news website
VELES – President-elect Donald Trump kicked off his tour to celebrate and thank the people who helped him get elected with a special stop at the Macedonian fake news website that had tricke…
Trump shatters racist image by giving Urban Development job to only black friend
NEW YORK – In a move that supporters insist shows he’s not the racist critics accuse him of being, U.S. President–elect Donald Trump has offered the nation’s Secretary of Housing and Urban Develo…
BREAKING: Standing Rock protesters win anti-pipeline victory, ruining 2016’s perfect misery streak
STANDING ROCK, ND — The Army Corp of Engineers has announced they will deny permits for the Dakota Access Pipeline, representing a victory for the Standing Rock protesters and a lone bright…
Trump explodes
NYC – At approximately 11:30 am this morning, celebrity, businessperson, and president-elect Donald Trump exploded. “It’s really very unfortunate,” said Melania Trump, the future First Lady. “He’…
Homegrown Canadian racists determined to compete with flashier American racists
OTTAWA – Following the events of the US election, Canada’s homegrown and indie racists are determined to not have their hateful efforts overshadowed by the behemoth to the south. “People ar…
You just said something unintentionally racist. Can you get out of it?
You’re not a racist (we assume). But you just said something that you realize came across super racist. Are you able to use your wits and guile to erase the social damage this will cause yo…
Trump strategist Bannon claims anti-semitism charges against him are just a global Zionist conspiracy
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After being appointed President-elect Trump’s chief advisor, equal in power to the chief of staff, Breitbart News chairman Steve Bannon is claiming that the anti-semitism…
Kellie Leitch initiates diplomatic relations with Trump by borrowing dog whistle
OTTAWA — In a symbolic gesture aimed at demonstrating the “shared values” she hopes will serve as the foundation of strong diplomatic relations between her party and U.S. President-elect Do…
