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Tag: Donald Trump
Trump cabinet unable to hide boners while signing anti-abortion order
WASHINGTON D.C. – Despite arranging themselves strategically around the oval office desk, and posturing their hands in a shielding fashion, Donald Trump and the majority of his cabinet were…
‘Will the two of you please shut up’ – an open letter to Kevin O’Leary and Kathleen Wynne from the Beaverton
Dear Mr. O’Leary and Premier Wynne, Having had the opportunity to review your recent “open letters” to each other, we at the Beaverton have decided to write our own open letter to the two of you,…
U.S. Joint Chiefs caught buying book on how to stage military coups
Only one day after Donald Trump’s inauguration, several members of the U.S. Joint Chiefs Of Staff were spotted today at a Washington area Barnes and Nobel purchasing a copy of “How To Stage…
Op-Ed by Kellie Leitch: “Oh no, I’m the Ben Carson, aren’t I?”
Oh, no. Oh god, I see what this is… Crap. All this time campaigning for the Conservative leadership, I was sure I was going to be seen as Canada’s Donald Trump. Particularly because I’ve be…
Donald Trump to be sworn in by actor dressed like his father saying he’s proud of him
WASHINGTON – President-elect Donald Trump will make history this Friday, when he is both sworn in and assured he has made his father proud, by an actor portraying the late Fred Trump. “The …
What, you thought I liked normal sex?
Yesterday as I was enjoying my standard evening of watching youtube clips of houses burning down and berating my youngest son for no reason I saw a breaking CNN report about my longstanding ties …
Jared Kushner named senior advisor to President based on ability to have sex with Ivanka
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A member of Donald Trump’s transition team revealed this week that son-in-law Jared Kushner will be named a senior advisor to the President, based on the fact that he possesses…
Jimmy Fallon/Donald Trump lip sync battle draws mixed reactions at Golden Globes
BEVERLY HILLS – Tonight’s 74th annual Golden Globes award ceremony experienced an awkward hiccup earlier tonight when host Jimmy Fallon introduced a surprise guest, president-elect Donald T…
EDITORIAL: You have no fucking idea what you’re in for
By: 2017 Recently, millions of you have been posting online about how terrible 2016 has been. How mean and unfair and downright rude it has been to you. How it killed great celebrities, or was a …
