OTTAWA – At a press conference held earlier today, Leader of the Conservative Party, Andrew Scheer, promoted the inclusion of consuming several litres of whole milk in less than an hour int…
Tag: Canada Food Guide
Scheer awards carton of chocolate milk medal of bravery for saving son’s life
OTTAWA – At a touching ceremony at Rideau Hall, Opposition Leader Andrew Scheer issued a medal of bravery to a stalwart carton of chocolate milk symbolizing how the dairy product of questio…
Salami industry issues their own food guide mainly consisting of Salami
OTTAWA – In response to Health Canada’s new food guide that emphasises a plant based diet and unprocessed food, the salami industry has produced its own rival food and nutrition guide, the …
New Canada Food Guide recommends sharing food with friends, you sad lonely fucks
TORONTO – Experts at Health Canada that loneliness is a large factor in proper nutrition, suggesting that Canadians could make huge improvements to their diets, if they stopped being such a…
New Canada Food Guide asks, ‘You really gonna eat that?’
OTTAWA – Canada’s Food Guide is getting a complete overhaul, revamping the ten-year-old publication to deliver a clear nutritional message: “You’re doing it wrong.” The new Food Guide will …
Doritos nutritionists concerned Canadian diet not ‘zesty’ enough
VICTORIA – A special report released earlier this week by top Doritos nutritionists has expressed concerns that the average Canadian’s diet is far below the daily recommended zesty-ness threshold…