GOMBE STREAM NATIONAL PARK, TZ – A troop election for the new alpha-male has turned sour after both campaign teams have accused the other of feces-throwing and biting. “This is a desperate …
World
Baha Men abandon multi-year investigation into who let the dogs out
NASSAU, BAHAMAS – After beginning a fruitless investigation into the identity of the person (or persons) who released 48 dogs from a Bahaman dog pound during a party in March 2000, internat…
Canadian tourist in London unsure if street hawker is selling authentic Royal Babies
LONDON – Despite the British vendor’s persuasive arguments, Canadian tourist Eric Forte remains unconvinced that the street merchant is actually selling the biological children of Kate Midd…
Tourists devastated by senseless photobombing
VENICE, ITALY – A total of 41 visitors to the city of Venice were tragically photobombed earlier today according to local authorities. In a Facebook post 19 year old Queens University stude…
Trump eager to turn away Syrian refugees he’s currently creating
WASHINGTON — After calling for airstrikes on three government sites in Syria, President Trump is reportedly most excited about the prospect of denying refugee status to the untold Syrian ci…
National Pride: Tim Hortons cup represents Canada in Great Pacific garbage patch
PACIFIC OCEAN – A Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win Tim Hortons cup has been discovered in the Pacific Ocean’s giant garbage vortex, indicating that Canada is adequately represented among polluting na…
Vladimir Putin suspected of colluding with Russians to win election
MOSCOW – In a victory speech today, Vladimir Putin staunchly denied any collusion with Russians to aid his campaign, allegations which have cast a dark shadow on his decisive 4th election w…
Indian PM promises to dress up like a Mountie, bring a convicted FLQ terrorist the next time he visits Canada
DELHI – Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi plans on reciprocating Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s efforts at embracing culture by dressing up as a Mountie and inviting a con…
Pope Francis urges journalists to search for truth, but not like in that “Spotlight” movie
THE HOLY SEE — In his annual address, Pope Francis denounced “fake news” and urged journalists to search for the truth, then clarified, “but not like in that Spotlight movie.” The Pope was …
Nuclear scientists move doomsday clock to “drinkin’ time”
CHICAGO, IL – In response to the new nuclear posture of the United States, along with the lack of evidence based decision making mechanisms in place, the members of the Bulletin of the Atom…
