MIAMI – Speaking at a campaign rally in Florida this week, former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) for the party’s nomination, in what experts are calling “…
U.S.
Donald Trump starts feud with Donald Trump
NEW YORK – Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has found himself embroiled in another feud, this time with Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump. “Who is he? Comes from a fa…
Ted Cruz caught Google searching “How to move back to Canada” in wake of Super Tuesday results
HOUSTON, TEXAS — Following Donald Trump’s grab in yesterday’s Super Tuesday primaries, Texas Senator and Republican presidential contender Ted Cruz accidentally revealed his interest in imm…
Dropped out GOP candidates get together for last big fearmonger party
Washington D.C. – Before they went their separate ways the recently resigned Republican Presidential candidates all met up for a final chance to stoke the fires of irrational fear and hate.…
Bernie Sanders supporters furious that cat food commercial fails to mention Bernie Sanders
Supporters of democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders have declared all-out online warfare against Purina One Smartblend cat food after their new commercial “utterly neglected” to make a…
Jeb Bush drops out of race to spend more time with gun
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Following a fourth place finish in the South Carolina primary, Jeb Bush has ended his run for the Republican nomination citing his desire to put in some quality time with his new…
Apple vows to stop FBI from corrupting exploitation monopoly
CUPERTINO, CALIF. – In an open letter to consumers, Apple CEO Tim Cook promised to fight a recent court order forcing the company to assist the FBI in hacking San Bernadino shooter Sayed Farook’s…
Scalia declared dead in most popular ruling of his career
CIBOLO CREEK RANCH, TX – U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was ruled dead by officials in west Texas this weekend, in what experts and colleagues agree is unquestionably the most popular …
Hillary tries to court younger voters by announcing that she is also voting for Bernie
WASHINGTON – Following Hillary’s loss in the New Hampshire primary, the Clinton Campaign has decided to connect with millennial voters by emphasizing that, like them, she is voting for Bernie San…
Martin Shkreli unable to resist punching own face
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former Pharmaceutical Company CEO and alleged securities fraudster Martin Skreli was unable to overcome to desire to punch himself repeatedly in his smirking, self-assure…
