CLEVELAND – Following her stirring keynote address at the Republican National Convention, senior ranking GOP officials are now hailing Melania Trump as a role model for America’s strong black wom…
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Trump promises working class voters he will build an even more marginalized group
CLEVELAND – About to accept his party’s nomination for President, Donald Trump assured a crowd of cheering supporters that if elected, he would create an ethnic/sociological group that was…
Bernie Sanders hammers against locked cellar doors while impostor endorses Clinton
Portsmouth, NH – Early reports have indicated that the individual who many believed was Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders was, in fact, a cleverly disguised Clinton aide while the real Be…
Beyoncé Declines Hillary Clinton’s Offer to Be Running Mate
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Beyoncé Knowles, known by her approximately 6 billion fans worldwide as Queen Bey, has reportedly declined Hillary Clinton’s offer to be her running mate. “It was sweet o…
Filibuster on mass shooting interrupted by new, different mass shooting
WASHINGTON D.C. – Inspired by the recent mass shooting in an Orlando gay nightclub, Senate Democrats, led by Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), launched a filibuster to demand new gun control law…
Gawker bankruptcy delays inevitable release of Trump dick pic
NEW YORK – In the wake of a $140 million dollar judgement stemming from a lawsuit against former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan, Gawker Media has been forced to file for Chapter 11 Bankru…
NRA unveils new semi-automatic rifle that shoots thoughts and prayers
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA – Responding to the latest mass shooting that has rocked the United States, the National Rifle Association today unveiled a new AR-15 assault rifle whose ammunition will b…
Bison named US national mammal, narrowly beating out Texas-style BBQ bison
CHARLOTTE, NC – The bison, with its majestic dignity and great historical significance, was chosen as America’s national mammal last Friday, beating out a close runner-up and popular favour…
Sanders staying in race just to keep 20-year-old college student inspired
Burlington, Vermont – Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is remaining in the Democratic Primary race despite the little chance he has at winning so he can continue to inspire a bright-eyed…
Trump receives concession call from someone named “John Kasich”
WASHINGTON – Presumptive republican presidential nominee Donald Trump was interrupted during a foreign policy briefing by a concession phone call from an individual named “John Kasich”, who…
