WASHINGTON, DC – This week, representatives of Prince ordered Donald Trump to immediately cease use of the deceased pop star’s funky, stimulating grooves at rallies that were described as “patent…
U.S.
Mail bomber arrest ends exhaustive search for Trump 2020 Campaign Chairman
Plantation, FL — Following a string of mail bombs sent to Democrat leaders and CNN, authorities have arrested a man who was immediately offered a position as Trump 2020 campaign chairman. T…
Abortion compromise: Republican feminists fight for right to arm vaginas
WASHINGTON, D.C – Maintaining their pro-life, pro-gun stance, a Republican feminist initiative, is fighting to protect women’s rights by allowing them to arm their vaginas. The “Women’s Rig…
NRA announces appropriate time to discuss gun control was just then and now it’s gone
Fairfax, Virginia – The National Rifle Association announced that the appropriate time to discuss gun control had finally arrived. The moment came at exactly 6:45 ET this morning and lasted…
Republicans praise thoroughness of blank piece of paper with “Kavanaugh FBI Investigation” written on it
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senators Flake, Collins, and the rest of the GOP are praising the FBI’s report on their investigation into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, which consists entirely o…
Lindsey Graham demands FBI investigation into whether sexual assault even that big a deal
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the FBI begins its investigation of sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, Senator Lindsay Graham has called for an investigation int…
BOMBSHELL: Brett Kavanaugh’s 1982 day planner introduces evidence that Styx rules
WASHINGTON – After extensive examination by the Senate Judiciary Committee, a calendar from 1982 – submitted by Supreme Court hopeful Brett Kavanaugh to disprove allegations that he c…
Who didn’t set their gym on fire and murder dozens of classmates when they were a teenager?
By Carrie White As I watched the claims against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanuagh unfold last week, I admit I was disturbed. Not by the alleged details themselves, but by everyone’s rush to j…
Ex-White House aide wishes he hadn’t recorded over all his Trump tapes
WASHINGTON – Recently fired White House aide Marvin Gao is beating himself up for recording over all the secret tapes he made of President Donald J. Trump. “It wasn’t just [former assistant to th…
Trump orders FEMA to put all their efforts into cleaning up devastation of Manafort guilty plea
WASHINGTON – The White House has released a statement authorizing the Federal Emergency Management Agency to redirect all of its resources to the destructive impact of Paul Manafort’s coope…
