TORONTO – Appearing at a downtown Toronto grocery store selling beer for the first time since the province privatized sales, a visibly intoxicated Kathleen Wynne urged shoppers to join her in dis…
Toronto
Taxi protest delays commuters just long enough to download Uber app
TORONTO – A protest by taxi-cab drivers against Uber’s infringement on their business caused gridlock on the Gardiner, Lakeshore and Queen Street, giving commuters just enough time to downl…
Hydro One offers grass-fed organic electricity
TORONTO – Hydro One has announced that all of the electricity provided to their Ontario customers is certified organic, and comes from local, grass-fed sources. Reacting to controversy arou…
80% of TTC wifi traffic just emails explaining lateness
TORONTO – A new study published by an independent technology research group says that 80% of the Toronto Transit Commission’s new free Wi-Fi network activity is just emails communicat…
Rob Ford signs multi-thousand dollar tracksuit sponsorship deal
TORONTO — Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford has just announced a lucrative multi-thousand dollar tracksuit deal with Adidas. After recently having signed NBA heartthrob James Harden, Adidas’ is…
Toronto undoes belt, lets gut out as TIFF concludes
TORONTO — Following the conclusion of the annual Toronto International Film Festival, the city itself let out a sigh, loosened the collar of its dress shirt and undid its belt, unleashing i…
Canadian man swims in pool record-breaking three times this summer
OAKVILLE, ON — Oakville local Richard Fisk swam in his backyard pool a staggering three times this summer, shattering the national personal pool swimming record. Said Fisk of the record-bre…
Toronto alleviates traffic issues with controlled cull of drivers
TORONTO – After years of downtown gridlock and extremely slow rush hour traffic, the Toronto city council has approved a controlled cull of drivers to help reduce their population numbers. …
Man forms meaningful relationship with Tinder spam-bot
TORONTO – A local man has formed an unlikely but surprisingly deep and meaningful relationship with a spam-bot after they met on the mobile dating app, Tinder. Jesse Green was initially ver…
