TORONTO – Several months after shooting a teenage person of colour over three hundred times, a buttoned-down desk jockey and a maverick, ladies-man beat cop have been acquitted, and, more i…
Toronto
Forcillo jury found guilty of attempted justice
TORONTO – Immediately after revealing their verdict on the case of James Forcillo’s murder of Sammy Yatim, the 11-person jury was charged with and found guilty of attempted justice. “There …
Assault rifles to give Toronto police confidence to handle scared teens with knives
TORONTO – Dozens of Toronto police officers will soon be equipped with semi-automatic assault rifles, which the force hopes will help allay some issues officers have had in dealing with fri…
Postmedia journalist reporting on newspaper lay-offs fired
TORONTO — Postmedia announced today it would be laying off several employees, including the reporter they assigned to cover the layoffs. Wesley Brais, who was known for such headlines as “S…
Shitfaced employee has no idea who put water in the vodka bottles
TORONTO — A sloshed LCBO employee is denying he had any responsibility on who replaced vodka with water in several 1.3 liters bottles of Smirnoff Vodka. “I had…had not one thing to do…
New York Times ranks Toronto as #7 best tourist destination, #1 most likely to never shut up about it
TORONTO — Torontonians are celebrating this weekend after the New York Times, America’s newspaper of record, named their city a top tourist spot for 2016, only then to name Toronto resident…
TTC uses fare hike to fund new service outage announcement system
TORONTO – In a press conference yesterday, the Toronto Transit Commission announced that thanks to funds raised by recently announced fare hikes, the transit system would be launching a bra…
TTC reminds commuters not to lick subway tracks
TORONTO – In a repeat of last year’s campaign, the Toronto Transit Commission is reminding commuters not to leave the safety of subway platforms to lick the tracks. “You’re not impressing a…
Tipsy Kathleen Wynne urges grocery store shoppers to take off clothes, “get weird”
TORONTO – Appearing at a downtown Toronto grocery store selling beer for the first time since the province privatized sales, a visibly intoxicated Kathleen Wynne urged shoppers to join her in dis…
Taxi protest delays commuters just long enough to download Uber app
TORONTO – A protest by taxi-cab drivers against Uber’s infringement on their business caused gridlock on the Gardiner, Lakeshore and Queen Street, giving commuters just enough time to downl…
