TORONTO, ON – Despite winning 7 out of 10 games so far this hockey season, Toronto Maple Leafs Head Coach Sheldon Keefe reassured fans that the team’s impressive performance will not impact their…
Toronto
Albino Squirrel from Trinity Bellwoods elected to City Council
TORONTO: In the result of an upset victory, Torontonians woke Tuesday morning to a find surprising new member on City Council: one of the white squirrels from Trinity Bellwoods park. “This was my…
SUV that hit cyclist on way to polls elected councillor in Etobicoke North
TORONTO – In an surprise victory Etobicoke North incumbent Michael Ford has been defeated by an SUV that just hit a cyclist. “It’s been a tough race” stated Ford in his concession speech “b…
John Tory wins on entrepreneurial background as guy who spent decades working for his dad
TORONTO – Incumbent Mayor John Tory was re-elected today, on the strength of his qualifications as a man who started his political career having worked exclusively for his dad and his dad’s…
Polls indicate Toronto mayoral frontrunner is Doug Ford wearing John Tory’s face as a mask
TORONTO – As residents head to the polls this morning, all signs suggest that the city’s new mayor is likely to be Doug Ford wearing John Tory’s face as a mask. Polling data suggests the Ford-Tor…
John Tory stunned to learn he can’t send butler to vote for him
TORONTO — As Torontonians head to the polls, Mayor John Tory is reportedly shocked that he cannot send his butler, Reginald Percy Shillingsworth, to cast his ballot for him. “What? You expe…
Pride Toronto willing to do anything to get gay icon Doug Ford to join parade
TORONTO – Following an announcement by Ontario’s sickeningly fabulous Premier Doug Ford that he would only march in Pride Toronto’s annual parade if police are also allowed to m…
Toronto Sun offers weekly column to arsonist who targeted refugee hotel
TORONTO — Following an attempted arson at the Radisson Toronto, which appeared to be inspired in part by Toronto Sun columns regarding refugees staying in the hotel, the Sun has offered a w…
Journalists interviewing Stephen Harper on his new book ball gagged as a precaution
TORONTO – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper has launched his book tour by preemptively gagging any journalist interviewing him to avoid any unexpected questions. CTV’s Question Period ho…
