TORONTO – Football (or soccer) fans in the nation’s largest city are busy preparing their car horns ahead of the World Cup this year in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so they can honk them ceasele…
Sports
How can Team Canada get into the next World Cup?
Canada has not made the World Cup since 1986. How can Team Canada make the next one? 1. Call it football – not soccer – like everybody else 2. Out-bribe the highest FIFA bidder 3. Wai…
Lucky fan catches Edwin Encarnacion’s bat with face
TORONTO – Rewarded at last for a lifetime of support, local Jays fan Steven Quinn has been lucky enough to catch one of the many bats thrown by Edwin Encarnacion, using only his nose and te…
Rest of nation trying not to be too happy about Habs loss
CANADA – Canadians outside of Quebec carefully hid their excitement today following yesterday’s elimination of the Montreal Canadiens from the NHL playoffs. “Of course it’s very unfortunate…
Habs fan already blaming Price’s injury, refs, coach, Ginette Reno, weather for Habs playoff elimination
MONTREAL – With the Montreal Canadiens facing elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs, one diehard fan is faulting goaltender Carey Price’s injury, poor refereeing, head coach Michel Ther…
Montrealers promise they’ll riot only if Canadiens win, lose
MONTREAL – In a brief statement read by mayor Denis Coderre, the citizens of Montreal promised that they would only riot in the event of a win, or of a loss by the Montreal Canadiens agains…
NBA refs advance to second round after defeating Raptors
TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors were eliminated from the playoffs after a hard-fought loss to their arch-rivals, the NBA referees. “It was a really tough game. Very physical, and a lot of cal…
Boston Bruins fans thank Donald Sterling for breaking the racist barrier
Inspired by Donald Sterling’s recent racist remarks, the hordes of disappointed and racist Boston Bruins fans took to twitter to voice their displeasure about the race of Montreal Canadiens overt…
Bashar al-Assad buys L.A. Clippers
LOS ANGELES – Following the lifetime ban of owner Don Sterling, the Los Angeles Clippers have announced that their new owner will be Bashar al-Assad, the current President of Syria. “…
