MONTREAL – With the Montreal Canadiens facing elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs, one diehard fan is faulting goaltender Carey Price’s injury, poor refereeing, head coach Michel Ther…
Sports
Montrealers promise they’ll riot only if Canadiens win, lose
MONTREAL – In a brief statement read by mayor Denis Coderre, the citizens of Montreal promised that they would only riot in the event of a win, or of a loss by the Montreal Canadiens agains…
NBA refs advance to second round after defeating Raptors
TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors were eliminated from the playoffs after a hard-fought loss to their arch-rivals, the NBA referees. “It was a really tough game. Very physical, and a lot of cal…
Boston Bruins fans thank Donald Sterling for breaking the racist barrier
Inspired by Donald Sterling’s recent racist remarks, the hordes of disappointed and racist Boston Bruins fans took to twitter to voice their displeasure about the race of Montreal Canadiens overt…
Bashar al-Assad buys L.A. Clippers
LOS ANGELES – Following the lifetime ban of owner Don Sterling, the Los Angeles Clippers have announced that their new owner will be Bashar al-Assad, the current President of Syria. “…
Report: Donald Sterling does literally the only thing an NBA owner can’t do
LOS ANGELES – Sources inside the NBA head office have stated that the league is furious that L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling, having allegedly been caught on tape making racist comments…
Drake pretty sure Raptors’ coach will put him in next game
TORONTO – In the lead up to the next Raptors playoff game, rap-artist Drake has been telling friends and family that he has “a pretty good shot” of getting some playing time. &#…
Leafs add much needed size, scoring to front office
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs finally landed the big, scoring executive they’ve so desperately needed on Friday, when the team named Hall of Famer Brendan Shanahan as its new President. The m…
Toronto Raptors clinch playoffs for first time since last time they played in playoffs
TORONTO – For the first time in probably at least a few years based on everybody’s reaction the Toronto Raptors will be heading to the NBA playoffs this spring. “Everyone counted us out at …
