By: 2017 Recently, millions of you have been posting online about how terrible 2016 has been. How mean and unfair and downright rude it has been to you. How it killed great celebrities, or was a …
Opinion
EDITORIAL: Just a heads up that your cousin Michael is gay now – by Aunt Pam
Merry Christmas, Tompkins family! It’s time for my holiday family newsletter and it’s an important one, so read closely. Even though there’s lots going on in the Tompkins clan, I just thought eve…
EDITORIAL: Stop freaking out because I’m waving this loaded gun around, by Maxime Bernier
By Maxime Bernier Can everyone please calm the fuck down? Tabarnak. Look, just because I’m reaching out to Canada’s firearms manufacturers and gun owners to raise money for my leadership bid, doe…
EDITORIAL: I wouldn’t mind cyclists if they weren’t so smug about getting maimed and killed
By Herb Fentle Look, cyclists are fine. I get it, you want to exercise, and do it in a way that everyone can see you do it. And you want to make it very clear to the street that you really care a…
Editorial: Why must humans enjoy Fall and ignore signs of death all around them
By: A Maple Tree It is with great sadness that I, Yggdrasil King of the Maples, reach out to you. I recognize that this letter must come as a shock. Many of you leg walkers have been deceived int…
Is Canada too needy for Justin Trudeau?
Is Canada too needy to hang on to our hot PM? Meet The Beaverton’s new Anchors, Emma Hunter and Miguel Rivas, as they debate. The Beaverton TV show premieres November 9th at 10:30 pm on Co…
EDITORIAL: Just a heads up that Tommy is bringing a Chinese girl to Thanksgiving this year – by Aunt Pam
Hi all, it’s your Aunt Pam writing with the annual Thanksgiving instruction e-mail. I have some important news to tell everyone so please read this carefully. I just got off the phone with Nancy …
POINT/ COUNTERPOINT: There are too many ducks at this duck pond vs We are the Ducks
There are too many ducks at this duck pond By Agnes Underwood I’ve been coming down to the duck pond by Miller’s Park for 52 years now and it’s about time that I spoke out about something that’s …
I hate your small town
BY STUART MCLEAN, HOST OF CBC RADIO’S THE VINYL CAFE After years of travelling across this country we call Canada, from coast to coast to coast, I have seen many things that have amazed me. The l…
Just tell me what you want me to think and I’ll think it
By: Patrick Brown, Leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario Ugh, Mondays right? You wake up, pour yourself a nice cup of coffee, and sit down to write a tidy little missive promisi…