EDMONTON – Alberta’s cash-strapped unions and corporations are finally getting some relief after Premier Rachel Notley announced they will be prohibited from making donations to political p…
National
Tories: Assault on Muslim would never had happened if attacker had access to barbaric practices hotline
OTTAWA – The Official Opposition has claimed that an attack on a Muslim woman in a London, Ontario grocery store could have been prevented if the accused had access to a Barbaric Cultural P…
Watching deceased father’s hidden, unlabeled VHS tape deemed not worth risk
TIMMINS, ON – Local man, Mark Mcphee, discovered an unmarked VHS tape while packing his recently deceased father’s belongings, a tape which he claims to be not worth the risk of attempting …
Gender neutral O Canada embraced by Tories from 2078
NEW OTTAWA – The Conservative Party has made a bold step for gender neutrality by finally accepting the omission of “thy sons” from our national anthem, nearly seven decades from today. “Even aft…
Justin Trudeau excited to teach Hillary Clinton about feminism
OTTAWA—In the wake of Hillary Clinton’s success in clinching the democratic nomination for President, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is reportedly “very much looking forward” to discussing his cel…
New Brunswick’s Minister of Celtic Affairs promises protection from Roman invaders
FREDERICTON – Drawing her long sword into the air, newly appointed Celtic Affairs Minister has promised the Celtic people of her province protection from the Roman invasion, which threatens…
Ezra Levant sues self for defamation
CALGARY – Rebel Media founder Ezra Levant is suing himself after the conservative commentator made besmirching comments about himself on TV, radio, newspapers, blogs, Twitter, Facebook and …
Tragically Hip cancels tour after band members unable to acquire tickets
KINGSTON, ON – The Tragically Hip has announced that it will be cancelling its final national tour as the members of the band were unable to acquire tickets to any of the 15 events they wer…
Tories continue to rebrand by removing wicker man ritual from party constitution
OTTAWA – After recently ending their opposition to gay marriage, the Conservative Party of Canada is continuing to rebrand, this time by resolving to no longer burn human captives inside of…
Guy in wraparound shades fully prepared to show ISIS who they’re dealing with
BANCROFT, ON – Decked out in camouflage pants, wraparound sunglasses and a fresh bicep tattoo, local badass Dave Kringler is ready to rock and roll the exact moment ISIS gives him a reason …
