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CETA UPDATE: Even other countries’ francophone minorities pissed off at Canada
NAMUR, BELGIUM – After talks on the Comprehensive Economic and Trade Agreement were stalled by the francophone minority in Belgium, it has become apparent that every francophone minority in…
Green Party condemns former candidate for throwing non-organic pumpkin seeds at Trudeau
HAMILTON – Green Party Leader Elizabeth May is condemning a former candidate of her party for throwing non-organic pumpkin seeds at Prime Minister Justin Trudeau earlier today. According to…
Trudeau celebrates one year in office with #TBT Instagram collage
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau enthusiastically marked one year in office with a tasteful and sentimental Instagram collage. “What better way to celebrate the Liberal party’s landsl…
Trudeau: Only 39.5% of people voted for electoral reform
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government is backing away from a promise on electoral reform by claiming they didn’t get enough votes in the past federal election to refor…
Canadian Association of Clowns say scary clowns no laughing matter
Haliburton, ON – The association representing the nation’s 50,000 clowns has condemned recent incidents of scary clowns in a fun-filled and mesmerizing press conference earlier today. Tumbl…
Canadians thankful for harvest or St. Lawrence voyage or something
OTTAWA – Canadians nationwide are gathering with friends and family to give thanks for the harvest or a historical St. Lawrence voyage or whatever. “My family always has a big turkey dinner…
Alberta’s NDP government to outlaw pickup trucks, steak in 2017
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Rachel Notley announced today that her government has enacted new legislation to ban the use of pickup trucks within the province effective January 1, 2017, with …
Polls suggest Canadians want minorities to assimilate to culture they can’t define
CANADA – New polls suggest that 68% of Canadians want minorities to assimilate to Canadian culture while simultaneously having no idea what that really means. “Canada is a cultural mosaic,”…
Mississauga-born MP caught lying about being born in Toronto
TORONTO – A Globe and Mail investigation into an MP’s actual birthplace has revealed that Science Minister Kirsty Duncan was, in fact, born in neighbouring Mississauga rather than the City …
