TORONTO – Catalyst Canada, a non-profit organisation whose mandate is to further the advancement of women in the workplace, has just replaced their former chair, human man, Bill Downe, with…
National
Lynn Beyak asks Indigenous Canadians to join rest of Canada in ignoring Indigenous issues
OTTAWA – After spending several months carefully examining and refining her position, Senator Lynn Beyak has released a statement encouraging Indigenous Canadians to put aside their grudges…
Charlie Angus admits he’s the NDP Candidate in bed with the Muslim Brotherhood
TIMMINS, ON – After Jagmeet Singh’s recent event was interrupted by an islamophobe accusing him of colluding with the Muslim Brotherhood, rival NDP candidate Charlie Angus has admitted he i…
Rich Canadians horrified as Hurricane Irma bears down on helpless 5-star resorts
CANADA – As the category 5 Hurricane Irma barrels through the Caribbean and Florida, the top 0.1% of Canadian earners are bracing themselves emotionally for the destruction of the world’s b…
Nation’s loser children try to convince themselves that this school year will be different
KINGSTON, ON – As students across the country gear up for the back-to-school season, the nation’s dweebs, nerds and uglies are preparing for the worst, while hoping – against all reason …
Nation’s toddlers demand more uppies
OTTAWA – In a move that many experts fear will cause a rift in already strained negotiations, Canada’s toddlers unilaterally demanded more uppies earlier today. Talks have entered arbitrati…
Andrew Scheer distances himself from The Rebel, will go ahead with op-ed in Eugenics Quarterly
OTTAWA – Following the website’s involvement in the Charlottesville neo-Nazi rally, Conservative party leader Andrew Scheer has decided to cut ties with The Rebel, planning instead to publi…
Ezra Levant somehow tanks white supremacist website during most racist time in recent memory
TORONTO – Despite a huge increase in racism and racial violence across North America and the presence of a white supremacist in the White House, Ezra Levant has somehow managed to entirely …
Ezra Levant buys domain name therebel.com in attempt to profit from recent disaster
TORONTO – Conservative pundit Ezra Levant has reportedly purchased domain names therebel.com, therebel.net, rebelimplosion.ca, and other related titles, in an effort to profit off of the di…
Canada holds nationwide beauty pageant to find most effective NAFTA negotiator
OTTAWA – In preparation for the upcoming round of NAFTA renegotiation talks, Canada is searching for the most effective possible negotiator through a nationwide beauty pageant. “We consider…
