KAMLOOPS, BC – The federal government is celebrating an unexpected windfall as it has discovered that the wildfires ravaging British Columbia have coincidentally cleared the path for the Tr…
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Canadian Blood Services desperately seeking 22,000 donors to avoid letting gay men donate blood
OTTAWA – Canadian Blood Services says it is in urgent need of new donors before Labour Day, or else it may have to resort to the drastic measure of reversing an arbitrary ban on receiving d…
Saudi Arabia condemns Canada’s appalling human rights record of selling arms to Saudi Arabia
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – In the wake of the diplomatic row over Canada’s support of political prisoners, Saudi Arabia continues to put out press releases and social media statements attacking…
Saudi Arabia sanctions Canada from its lucrative flogging industries
RIYAHD – In yet another blow to Canadian international trade, Saudi Arabia said the Canadian government will no longer be able to access the country’s profitable corporal punishment industr…
Canada aims to reduce number of detained migrant children to number still higher than zero
OTTAWA – Proving once again that the world needs more Canada, Public Safety minister Ralph Goodale has announced we will reduce the number of detained migrant children from ‘way more than you thi…
Canada’s arms-for-human rights trade agreement somehow faltering in Saudi Arabia
RIYADH – Canada’s trade strategy of arms-for-human rights hit a snag on Sunday when the Saudi government expelled the Canadian Ambassador and suspended any new business after asking for the…
ISIS claims responsibility for Ezra Levant
TORONTO – The Islamic State has claimed responsibility for Ezra Levant, a source has confirmed. “Ezra Levant, soldier of the Islamic State, will continue to divide Canadians against one ano…
Provincial government thanks the rest of Canada for buying $4.5 billion pipeline by complaining about equalization
EDMONTON – Expressing their appreciation for the purchasing the controversial Trans Mountain Pipeline, the Alberta government said thanks by complaining about how much Quebec, Manitoba, Nov…
Tragedy strikes as Marineland trainer killed by captive human being
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – Disaster struck at one of Canada’s leading wildlife parks today, as yet another trainer was killed by the park’s star human being, Dave. “It seemed like everything was g…
Canada cuts out middleman in US trade war by negotiating directly with Putin
MOSCOW – The Canadian government has relocated its NAFTA trade negotiations to Russia, a diplomatic maneuver that will eliminate US President Donald Trump as a middleman. Five Canadian memb…
