Tweed, ON – After a months long trial, local uncle Herb McKinley has been found guilty of criticizing the Communist Broadcasting Corporation and sentenced to 5 years hard labour in the gula…
National
Report: There are a bunch of cities outside Toronto with their own streets and buildings and stuff
TORONTO – In a recent report released by the Canadian Geographical Society, there appear to be upwards of 10 cities outside of Toronto that not only have a bunch of buildings and houses wit…
China unveils new tourism slogan, ‘Come and you’ll never be able to leave’
BEIJING – After a wave of Canadian citizens were suddenly and permanently relocated to China, the country’s Ministry of Culture and Tourism has unveiled an exciting new slogan, ‘Come and you’ll n…
New Canada Food Guide recommends sharing food with friends, you sad lonely fucks
TORONTO – Experts at Health Canada that loneliness is a large factor in proper nutrition, suggesting that Canadians could make huge improvements to their diets, if they stopped being such a…
Canada’s Ambassador to China John McCallum takes second job as lawyer to Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou
BEIJING – Canada’s top diplomat in China has been retained as legal counsel for Meng Wanzhou, the Huawei CFO who is currently fighting extradition to the United States on fraud charges. Amb…
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
Progressive RCMP policy requires officers to recite land acknowledgement before seizing indigenous land
OTTAWA – A progressive RCMP policy will require officers to read an indigenous land acknowledgement out loud every time they enforce a court ordered seizing of traditional indigenous land. …
CTV orders Beaverton ‘Year In Review’ NYE Special to put final nail in 2018’s coffin
TORONTO – As part of their plan to say good bye and good riddance to 2018, The Beaverton will air a One Hour New Year’s Eve Special on CTV at 10pm EST. “Unless we spend an hour …
If I were the PM handling China, I would have already sent several rescue teams to their death
By: Andrew Scheer As I write this, two Canadians are being detained in China in response to the Vancouver arrest of the CFO of the Chinese technology firm Huawei. Our Prime Minister’s response to…
