OAKVILLE, ON – An Ontario judge has granted sole physical custody to her divorced parent’s iPhone 9, which was deemed to be the only thing that helped raise the child. After a lengthy legal…
Law
Man offered $69 court settlement accidentally accepts with kneejerk “noice!”
VICTORIA – Jack Lambert was hoping his lawsuit against a contractor whose shoddy work caused structural damage to Lambert’s home would at least net him enough money to pay for the repairs&#…
Undercover cop at high school successfully completes high school
Victoria, BC – After five years of fruitlessly investigating minor drug crimes at a local high school, sources have confirmed that undercover RCMP officer Frank ‘Frankie’ DeRosa…
Grinch acquitted despite bodycam video showing him stealing Christmas
WHOVILLE—A federal court has found the Grinch not guilty of grand larceny and impersonating Santa Claus, after a controversial trial that featured bodycam evidence of the green monster stealing C…
Mistrial declared after judge found to be three children in judicial gown
WINDSOR, ON – An Ontario courtroom was thrown into turmoil today after it was discovered that the presiding judge was in fact three children hiding under a judicial gown. The children, aged…
Compassionate judge acquits all young men charged with the kind of sexual assaults he got away with at their age
TORONTO – Justice Perry Smith wants the young white men who he routinely sees brought before him on charges of sexual assault and violence against women to know that he’s more than an impar…
Website faces class action lawsuit by readers who believe what happened next
OTTAWA – A class action lawsuit has been filed against the media website TimeSuck by a group of users who viewed an online video and found it to be well within the realm of believability, c…
