WINNIPEG – The Public Health Agency of Canada has announced that it has reintroduced the deadly and highly infectious smallpox virus back into the human population so everyone learns the ha…
Health
Five adorable Victorian fashion accessories to go with your child’s measles
The 19th century is back in vogue with a recent uptick in measles, mumps and irrational distrust of life saving medical procedures. But it’s not just healthcare that is going back 180 years, it’s…
B.C. Parents furious after discovering son’s hidden vaccine stash
VICTORIA – Two B.C. parents advised today that they weren’t sure where they went wrong with their 12 year old son Henry after finding a stash of vaccines in his sock drawer. “We’ve told him…
Diet based on food linked to early death
VANCOUVER – Research scientists at the University of British Columbia have published a ground-breaking study that suggests that individuals whose diet is mostly made up of food have an incredibly…
Intermittent fasting championed by miserable, starving man
REGINA – This week, local accountant Jeffrey Higgins announced to family and friends that yes, intermittent fasting works, with the minor side effect of a hellish existence. “I’ve tried man…
Alcohol reports it’s giving YOU up for January
WINNIPEG — Following the holiday season, and after much soul-searching, this week alcohol officially declared that it is abstaining from you for the month of January. “I was starting to fee…
Cool aunt forces everyone to smoke pot this Christmas
BARRIE, ON — Since the legalization of marijuana, Canadians who originally demonized the drug are trying marijuana for the first time. Thus causing first time user, Cathy Lowe, to share her…
After catching teen vaping, parent forces them to finish whole cartridge
BURLINGTON, ON — After 15-year-old Danius Jenkins was caught vaping, his parents Danielle Jenkins and Richard Mardow, made him finish the whole cartridge in the hopes that it would ruin vap…
Man refuses to accept anesthesia in case ‘lady surgeon’ needs advice
TORONTO, ON – Insisting that that he would like to be available to offer his opinion, should his ‘lady surgeon’ require any helpful tips or advice on how to perform the procedure, local man…
Woman who refused toothpick, really “going for it” with fingernail
VICTORIA, BC — In a tense moment at the dinner table Jessica Trevors declined a toothpick and has taken to fully using her fingernail to get “whatever it is” out of her teeth. “I thought ma…
