OTTAWA – Following several reports of vaping-related illnesses and deaths across North America, Health Canada has issued a strongly worded warning aimed at young people, informing them that…
Health
Impacted molar can’t wait to prove smug “Canadian healthcare” retort wrong
LINDSAY, ON – Mere moments after local tooth owner James McKenzie confidently bragged to an American friend over the phone about the quality of Canadian healthcare, his impacted upper right…
Vaping industry responds to deaths by rebranding their product as ‘life cessation devices’
NEW YORK – With the sixth vaping-related death reported in the United States and hundreds more hospitalized, the e-cigarette industry has responded to public health concerns by rebranding t…
Insurance industry warns that single-payer pharmacare could reduce their access to our money
OTTAWA – Following the recommendation of an expert panel that Canada switch to a universal pharmacare plan, the insurance industry is cautioning such a move would create a drastic reduction…
Zombie therapist wants patients to know that they can’t keep running from their problems
TORONTO – Licensed therapist and recently alive man Dr. Mark Conway wishes everyone would understand that simply fleeing from their problems is unhelpful, unhealthy, and frankly, a little s…
Anti-vax protest cancelled due to measles outbreak
PORTLAND, OR — A protest planned by the parents group “Vaccine Rights Now” has been postponed due to a local measles outbreak which has hospitalized dozens. “I would rather be out there pro…
“Aspartame is bad for you,” says friend who just snorted gigantic line of ketamine
MONTREAL – Moments after doing a line of ketamine last night, Holden Morrisey, 23, revealed to an astonished crowd of warehouse partygoers that the can of Diet Coke his friend was holding would l…
The Top 5 documentaries that will kick start you right into a major depression
In our current cultural and political climate, truth is often stranger, scarier, and more uplifting than fiction – which is why it’s no surprise that documentaries are having a renaissance in 201…
Efficiency: $200 million cut to Ontario public health to streamline smaller measles outbreaks into one big measles outbreak
TORONTO – Ontario’s Health and Long Term Care Minister Christine Elliott says that she’s making cuts to local health agencies to correct the inefficiencies in the spread of measles as well …
Man who just open mouthed sneezed into your ear is pretty sure it’s just allergies
JASPER, AB — On her usual morning commute, Ainsley Stephens, 26, has been informed that the strange man who sneezed into her ear without covering his mouth “has allergies, not a cold,…
