RICHMOND HILL, ON – Local rapper Justin “J-Swingy” Simms announced to his circle of friends earlier this week that he did not, indeed, give a fuck about bitches. “We were just chilling at M…
Culture
Bob Dylan concerts to feature hologram of Bob Dylan that actually gives a shit
LOS ANGELES, CA – Inspired by the famous holographic projections of deceased artists like 2Pac Shakur and Biggie Smalls, Columbia Records executives have announced an upcoming Bob Dylan con…
Marionettes and puppets forced to breed Muppets on Jim Henson family estate
LOS ANGELES, CA – Following a police raid yesterday, Federal authorities announced at a press conference that they are investigating long suspected criminal sexual activities at the late Ji…
Bieber to Drake: ‘Stop twisting my nipples’
Flickr Photo…
Man finally watches The Shawshank Redemption
VANCOUVER – To the relief of his friends and colleagues, local man Brett Kraftson finally watched the iconic film The Shawshank Redemption earlier this week. Kraftson finally takes the time…
Beatles fan unimpressed by rest of humanity
WINNIPEG – Remarking on the state of the music industry, self-described “Beatles maniac” Gilbert Planter told friends and co-workers that no real music has been produced by huma…
CBC to change fall programming
In an effort to boost sluggish ratings, CBC has announced a fall lineup they hope will draw a younger and more diverse audience. The revised lineup is based on successful U.S. programming, but ad…
