LOS ANGELES – After concerns about natural human aging surfaced earlier this week, studio executives are now seeking a younger actress to play Maggie Gyllenhaal. “We love Maggie, we really …
Culture
Harry Potter themed wedding begins with murder of groom’s parents
FREDERICTON – The themed wedding of Jane Danson and Peter Hartford, set in the wizarding world of Harry Potter, was reported to be “beautiful” and “heartwarming” despite the ceremony commen…
Local artist paid with, dies from, exposure
TORONTO – In the early hours of yesterday morning, local artist Sue Jolley was found dead of exposure mere days after being paid with the same. “We’re all shocked by this, but contrary to p…
Q rebranded as q after caps lock button is laid off in latest round of CBC budget cuts
TORONTO –– After caps lock keys accepted buyouts in the CBC’s latest round of budget cuts, the public broadcaster announced on Wednesday that the radio show Q would henceforth be known as q. “we …
Mike Holmes breaks into house to check if it has knob and tube wiring
TORONTO – Famous contractor and television host Mike Holmes has allegedly furthered his hatred of knob and tube wiring by forcing his way into a local residence to check out the electrical …
Report: Final season of Mad Men may contain spoilers
LOS ANGELES – Matthew Weiner, creator of the popular drama Mad Men, has warned fans of his show that they might want to skip its upcoming final season if they want to avoid any potential sp…
Critics divided on final Mad Men season’s jump to 2061
LOS ANGELES – Premiering April 5th on AMC, the normally secretive hit television show Mad Men has angered some critics and fans with leaked news that its final seven episodes will be set in the y…
Budget cuts force CBC to fire all the horses from Heartland
ALBERTA – Following another round of programming cuts, the CBC has been forced to downsize almost 40 horses from the 9th season of it’s still existing drama, Heartland. “For a while we thou…
Drake’s Canada Council for the Arts grant about to run out
TORONTO – Popular Canadian rapper Drake may be heading for choppy waters when his grant from the Canada Council for the Arts runs out at the end of this month. Since he was bestowed the gra…
Local man just wants to listen to the band Nekrofilth in peace
CLEVELAND, OH – Metalhead James Forrest, tired after a long and stressful day, said he just wants to come home and listen to songs like Junkie Cunt in order to relax, but is having difficul…
