HAMILTON – A recent argument between Ted and Susan Jameson over whether the golden age of television has indeed come to a close has led to concerns that their marriage may be in jeopardy. “Sure, …
Culture
Leslie Jones signs multi-picture deal to remake every single movie online trolls grew up loving
HOLLYWOOD – Following a hack and leak of nude photos of comedic actress Leslie Jones, Hollywood studios have announced a 35-film deal to feature Jones in remakes of every single movie that …
Obituary section actually sponsored content
TORONTO – On closer inspection, the ‘In Memoriam’ section of a respected news site has turned out to be a piece of native advertising. “John William Stearns (b. 1943) was a loving father, w…
Political culture becoming dangerously polarized, says guy worse than Stalin
OTTAWA – Political discourse in the English-speaking world is becoming increasingly oppositional, says one researcher who is Hitler reborn, but this time with a bit of Pol-Pot and Saddam th…
Loser kids trying to cash in on Netflix’s Stranger Things
Meaford, ON – A group of four hopeless geeks have begun to be more outspoken and confident, a behaviour their parents and classmates attribute to the release of the Netflix program Stranger…
Report: Jared Leto terrorized Suicide Squad castmates with 30 Seconds to Mars songs
HOLLYWOOD – As Warner Brothers releases its latest DC Comics blockbuster, Suicide Squad, sources have confirmed that star Jared Leto’s “acting method” involved torturing his castmates with …
New Food Network show just Gordon Ramsay shouting at appliances
NEW YORK – Food Network has announced a new show to premiere this fall: This Is Shit!, which features Gordon Ramsay in various states of upset towards the appliances in his kitchen. “Oh, lo…
Nation’s mothers still trying to remember ‘that’ actor’s name
OTTAWA – After several attempts to recall the name of a specific famous actor, Canadian mothers continue to struggle to remember whom they are talking about. “You know the guy”, said retired teac…
Marvel unveils new Asian superhero: ‘Foreign Investor’
LOS ANGELES – Responding to backlash from fans for their lack of Asian characters, Marvel Studios has created a Chinese superhero, Foreign Investor, who will star in his own solo film. “This will…
Avid vinyl collector buys first record player
VANCOUVER – After years of collecting vinyl, Joel Young, a barista and amateur longboarder from Kitsilano, BC has finally purchased a record player. “I love collecting records. The touch of the c…
