TORONTO – Following his resignation as editor-in-chief of The Walrus over controversial statements on cultural appropriation, Jonathan Kay is reportedly enthusiastic to bring his incendiary…
Culture
Get Hype: The upcoming ‘Fast and the Furious’ prequel is all horses
Get hype, internet, there’s a new installment in the Fast and the Furious franchise, and this time, it’s nothing but horse, baby! Taking place in the same universe several years before the other …
Canadian playwrights scramble to find next American tragedy to make all about us
NEW YORK – In the wake of 7 Tony-nominations for the Newfoundland-set Come From Away, playwrights across Canada are hard at work on the next musical romp that capitalizes on an American dis…
Man suffering no adverse effects one month after deciding not to watch “Iron Fist”
ELORA, ON – In a promising case that has the scientific community cautiously optimistic, local man Kyle Redding appears to be no worse off for his decision not to watch Marvel’s Netfl…
Paw Patrol investigated for sexist hiring practices
ADVENTURE BAY – Paw Patrol, a team of pups that save the day whenever there’s a problem, is under investigation by the Adventure Bay Human Rights Bureau for sexist hiring practices. Ryder, …
Hottest Spring Trend: Getting sick right before you have an event you can’t get out of
NEW YORK – This just in, spring’s hottest trend has nothing to do with bomber jackets or skinny jeans and everything to do with your immune system. Famous trend forecaster Jil Whitman has o…
6 tips on staying fashionable while stuck on a 12 storey high crane hook
We’ve all been there – stuck on top of a crane hook 120 feet in the air teetering above a city. But what should you wear for the occasion? Here are 6 sensible fashion tips that just screams…
Fox News limits hosts to 5 sexual harassment scandal maximum
NEW YORK – Following their decision to fire popular pundit Bill O’Reilly, Fox News has announced they are setting a “hard limit” of 5 sexual harassments for all remaining on-air talent. Aft…
Dust blown off Porky’s tapes from coast to coast as nation celebrates Canadian Film Day
OTTAWA – Canadians from all across the country came together to celebrate Canadian Film Day by digging their old VHS copies of 1981 sex comedy Porky’s out from storage. “Porky’s wasn’t my f…
Wife’s affair gives husband time to finally catch up on Netflix queue
Dartmouth, NS – After finding definitive proof his wife was having an extramarital affair, local husband Nathan Wexler is using his newly freed up evenings to catch up on his Netflix queue.…
