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Alberta
Poll: 30% of Canadians support letting Alberta join U.S. “for the laughs”
TORONTO – As the Wexit movement pivots from independence towards joining the U.S., 30% of Canadians east of Saskatchewan say they are in favour of this, given how entertaining they expect i…
Alberta government sets up border checkpoints to screen for fleeing doctors
EDMONTON – Premier Jason Kenney has announced border checkpoints to screen for any physicians trying to leave the province. Police and provincial officials have set up roadblocks at every b…
Jason Kenney: My racist speechwriter doesn’t speak for me, merely writes the words I speak
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney wants everyone to know that the fact that Paul Bunner, the man who writes his speeches, has written anti-Indigenous content in the recent past has n…
Alberta government encourages tire burning to make up for lost carbon emissions during pandemic
EDMONTON – The provincial government of Alberta is calling on residents to burn tires and other materials in an effort to make up for the lack of carbon emissions and environmental devastat…
Alberta insists oil workers essential, essential-oil workers not essential
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta reiterated today that the province considers workers in the oil industry to be essential while workers in the essential-oil industry are considered non-…
Alberta suspends environmental reporting rules to prevent spread of information
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta has used its emergency powers to suspend regulations that require the oil and gas industry to report the effects of their activities on the environment …
Alberta’s health minister models excellent physical distancing by yelling at people from at least 2 meters away
EDMONTON – Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro is practicing what he preaches by committing to only respond to people who’ve accused him of unethically benefiting from his role as public …
Alberta announces it will only protect the most profitable wildlife
EDMONTON – Citing the mounting cost to taxpayers, Alberta’s UCP government announced that it will be only be protecting wildlife that can turn a profit. Environment Minister Jason Nixon sai…
Teck pulls application for oil sands mine after finding out about the existence of oil prices
FORT McMURRAY, AB – Teck Resources Ltd have pulled their application to the Canadian government for a massive $20 billion oil sands mine in northern Alberta after a shocking study by the co…
