EDMONTON – In a sweeping round of cuts, Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro has revealed a significant reduction in the maximum life span of the province’s citizens. Shandro made the anno…
Alberta
Alberta announces plan to grow VHS industry
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has announced a sweeping plan to increase the size of Alberta’s VHS industry in an attempt to give the ailing province a much needed economic boost. “For…
Jason Kenney calls Alberta’s bountiful harvest a ‘godsend,’ oddly cagey about which god
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney has been celebrating the bumper harvest Alberta is expecting to bring in this year, but has been reticent to name which deity he holds responsible for this agricultu…
Jason Kenney furious that throne speech didn’t contain a single poem praising the oil industry
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has released a scathing response to this year’s throne speech in which he excoriated the federal government for not presenting a single sonnet, ode o…
Poll: 30% of Canadians support letting Alberta join U.S. “for the laughs”
TORONTO – As the Wexit movement pivots from independence towards joining the U.S., 30% of Canadians east of Saskatchewan say they are in favour of this, given how entertaining they expect i…
Alberta government sets up border checkpoints to screen for fleeing doctors
EDMONTON – Premier Jason Kenney has announced border checkpoints to screen for any physicians trying to leave the province. Police and provincial officials have set up roadblocks at every b…
Jason Kenney: My racist speechwriter doesn’t speak for me, merely writes the words I speak
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney wants everyone to know that the fact that Paul Bunner, the man who writes his speeches, has written anti-Indigenous content in the recent past has n…
Alberta government encourages tire burning to make up for lost carbon emissions during pandemic
EDMONTON – The provincial government of Alberta is calling on residents to burn tires and other materials in an effort to make up for the lack of carbon emissions and environmental devastat…
Alberta insists oil workers essential, essential-oil workers not essential
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta reiterated today that the province considers workers in the oil industry to be essential while workers in the essential-oil industry are considered non-…
