By: Amanda Caparillo Since it has come to light that R. Kelly has been imprisoning underage girls in a sex cult for several years, I have considered acknowledging his crimes, but that song “Remix…
Report: 78% of nation’s municipal infrastructure funds spent on single Montreal overpass
MONTREAL — An audit has revealed that tens of billions in infrastructure spending has been dedicated to repairing a single overpass along Autoroute 15 in Montreal. All other national infra…
Tony Clement launches campaign from steps of very nice gazebo
Orrville, ON — Former federal and provincial cabinet minister Tony Clement has announced his bid to lead the Conservative Party of Canada from one of his favourite gazebos. “I have the expe…
Whitehorse opens new trails for wandering off-leash dogs
WHITEHORSE – Dogs who want to take themselves for a walk in Whitehorse now have more options to explore Yukon’s capital with a new pathway network. 16 new off-leash trails, which explores a…
Tory refugee Jason Kenney treks thousands of kilometers westward to seek better life
OTTAWA – Former Conservative MP Jason Kenney has made the decision to flee Ottawa and make a perilous 3,500 km journey across dangerous territory to seek a new life in Alberta. After the Li…
Pride Parade joins Justin Trudeau’s walk down street
TORONTO – Prime Minister and National Treasure Justin Trudeau was accompanied by Canada’s largest Pride Parade as he casually strolled down Yonge Street this past Sunday. “OM Fucking G; it’…
Inspirational procrastinator lives every day like it’s his second last
Prince Albert, Sask – Filling his day with useless activities to avoid more important ones, Harold Carmacks has inspired many with his ‘I’ll-do-it-tomorrow’ philosophy. “I’m always preoccup…
Hundreds of sick kids to be put down after Subban traded to Nashville
MONTREAL — Following the trade of Canadiens all-star defenceman and philanthropist PK Subban, the Montreal Children’s Hospital has announced Wednesday that it would not be able to keep its …
Brexit aftermath: Norman immigrant harassed on bus
NORWICH, UK – A video of a man harassing a Norman immigrant on a bus has gone viral as part of a rise in xenophobic incidents following the UK’s vote to leave the European Union. “You fucking imm…
Alberta’s broke corporations, unions glad they no longer have to give political donations
EDMONTON – Alberta’s cash-strapped unions and corporations are finally getting some relief after Premier Rachel Notley announced they will be prohibited from making donations to political p…