OTTAWA – Mere moments after a mischievous smile spread across his face at the sight of a young couple taking wedding photos, a shirtless Andrew Scheer is rolling on the ground, grovelling a…
National Post columnist retires to spend more time being snide with his family
TORONTO – After a long, fulfilling career as a screed-writer for one of Canada’s newspapers of note, columnist Eustace Tibbs has retired to spend more time disparaging his children. “I’m fo…
Meet Trump’s powerful new advisor: his personal support worker, Mrs Ocampo
A new player has appeared at the game-board of Washington, D.C., and is quickly positioning themselves as the power behind the throne. Who is this mysterious and formidable figure? Donald J. Trum…
Quebec to ratify Charter if rest of Canada eats this grasshopper
QUEBEC CITY – After nearly 4 decades, the province of Quebec has vowed to finally ratify the 1982 Constitution Act, on the sole condition that the rest of the country eats this disgusting g…
Sean Hannity reports Clintons killed Sean Hannity, while slowly raising pistol to own head
NEW YORK – After months suggesting the DNC was responsible for the murder of Seth Rich, Fox News reporter Sean Hannity is now reporting the Clintons have assassinated Fox News reporter Sean…
Typical centrist: Emmanuel Macron is already trying to build pipelines in BC
Well that didn’t take long. Just weeks after getting elected President of France, centrist politician and, duh, former banker Emmanuel Macron has been spotted in the interior of BC, burying lengt…
Get Hype: The upcoming ‘Fast and the Furious’ prequel is all horses
Get hype, internet, there’s a new installment in the Fast and the Furious franchise, and this time, it’s nothing but horse, baby! Taking place in the same universe several years before the other …
University revolutionary pretty sure intelligentsia won’t get purged this time
TORONTO – Two years into his undergraduate degree, local student Sam Taylor is convinced he won’t be one of the ones put up against the wall when the revolution comes. “No, I’m on the Peopl…
Troubled state executed several small animals before moving on to people
ARKANSAS – Consultation of public records has revealed that several executed animals were found in areas near where the state of Arkansas would later go on to kill human beings. “Violence t…
Donald Trump Jr. killed in drive-by revenge shooting by elephants
Mar-A-Lago, FL – Tragedy struck the First Family today, when Donald Trump Jr. died of his injuries shortly after being riddled with bullets by a group of elephants in a Cadillac 4×4. “…