WASHINGTON – In a surprise move, the US Supreme Court has ruled that Koch Industries has exclusive rights to the term ‘copyright’© and its use in all forms of expression. Chief Justice John…
Study: Winnipeg still exists
Somewhere in Manitoba – Researchers have determined that a city once thought to be lost in the Manitoban wilderness is continuing to endure. The existence of Winnipeg [pronounced “Win-uh-pe…
BREAKING: Canada Revenue Agency will pay Canadians $500 to keep quiet about mob tax return
OTTAWA – The federal agency that oversees tax collection has promised all 35 million Canadians a nice bonus if they keep quiet about a $381,737.46 tax rebate given to former mob boss Nicolo…
Undergrad spends $3000 on booze to celebrate arrival of OSAP loan
PETERBOROUGH – Upon being offered a loan for his tuition fee with government aid, a third year undergraduate student celebrated with a $3,000 alcohol-fueled party. 21 year-old Owen Blais, a…
Russell Brand image on toast just Jesus again
PRINCE GEORGE – Thousands of faithful were disappointed to find out that the first sighting of Russell Brand on a piece of toast was Jesus, as usual. Jenna Anderson, 42, was preparing the t…
Keystone boasts pipeline will create 5700 unpaid internships for Canadian students
CALGARY – Canadian energy giant TransCanada has announced that the Keystone XL pipeline will be built by interns in order to offer Canadian students the experiences they need to enter the excitin…
Quebec responds to Ontario doctor ad by advertising to racist doctors
QUEBEC – The Quebec government is responding to an Ontario hospital’s efforts to lure Quebec doctors by an ad that attracts bigoted physicians. “Ontario should not have waded in…
Toronto Star begins paywall website, hopes no one knows how to clear internet history
TORONTO – After several other renowned newspapers implemented paywalls for internet content, publishers at the Toronto Star are hoping that none of their online readers know how to clear th…
War of 1812 celebrations extended to 2017
Canadians everywhere are bracing their wrists for even more flag-waving as the government announced it will be prolonging the War of 1812 celebrations until 2017.histhist Minister of Heritage She…
