CALGARY — In an effort to stir up Conservative supporters, Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney delivered a patriotic speech with impeccable and unaccented bigotry. “Wow, he must be from …
Hungover 16 year-old wakes up wearing ‘Re-elect Conservative Rick Dykstra’ button
ST. CATHARINES — After a long night out drinking with her friends, an unidentified high school girl woke up to find a Rick Dykstra button pinned to her side tie halter dress. “What happened…
Unemployed Canadians so happy to see politicians addressing the niqab again
MONTREAL — The nation’s unemployed are pleased to hear that the main topic of political conversation will be about whether a very small minority of women have a religious right to cover the…
Mass shooting in _________, USA kills ___
__________, USA — Up to ___ people were killed and ____ more injured after a gunman opened fire at a ________. There were conflicting reports about casualties, but _______ from _______Count…
Every federal election candidate resigns after using social media
OTTAWA – All 1,792 candidates running for Canada’s next member of Parliament have announced their resignation after using Twitter and Facebook to express their views for the past ten years.…
‘Insure’ or ‘ensure’ makes citizens unsure
WHITEHORSE — An advisory sign use of ‘insure’ instead of ‘ensure’ has made citizens unsure and increasingly insecure. “At first I was cocksure it was ‘insure’ before the city decided to pro…
Maury leaders debate entertains studio audience
TORONTO — Last night on a special Canadian political episode of the Maury Povich Show, three men all claimed that they love Canada and know what’s best for it, but only one can win its hear…
The Globe and Mail showcases diversity with five white male columnists who have different opinions
TORONTO — Demonstrating the publication’s commitment to diversity, five of the Globe and Mail’s white, middle-aged, male columnists have taken different stances on who won the debate among …
Conservative candidate resigns after reading Conservative platform out loud
DUNVILLE, ON — Another local Conservative candidate has resigned today after he read the Conservative Party platform out loud offending many who heard it. Gordon McPherson, Conservative can…
