STRATHROY, ON – A local man’s imagination is reporting that thousands of Canadians have been incarcerated under the country’s new Sharia law, thanks to the passage of the Anti-Islamophobia …
I’m not really sure what an Innovation Minister is supposed to do
BY: NAVDEEP BAINS, MINISTER OF INNOVATION, SCIENCE, AND ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT CANADA As the Minister of Innovation, Science, and Economic Development of Canada, I’m consulting all Canadians for su…
Historians confirm BC’s second premier was Canada’s first hipster
VICTORIA – A group of historians at the University of Victoria have confirmed that British Columbia’s second premier, Amor De Cosmos, was the earliest hipster to settle in Canada. Dr. H. Lu…
Fred Penner reinvents his music by joining death metal band
WINNIPEG – Canada’s beloved children’s music performer and two-time Juno winner is reinventing his brand of music as lead vocals in a local death metal band. Fred Penner, 70, announced that…
‘Randy’ from Trailer Park Boys wins Alberta PC leadership
CALGARY – The character known as ‘Randy’ from the hit Canadian television show Trailer Park Boys has been elected leader of the Alberta PCs in landslide. Wearing an uncharacteristic shirt a…
Single family of 700 upset all Conservative Party memberships rejected
MISSION, BC – A very large family of over 700 are disappointed to hear that the Conservative Party of Canada had rejected all of their party memberships under the suspicion that they were a…
RCMP accidentally deploy Musical Ride during hostage negotiations
Pulteney, AB – In a police-related mix up, RCMP unwittingly deployed the Mounties famed Musical Ride to a hostage situation in rural Alberta. Police surrounded an isolated farmhouse after r…
Carleton University gym replaces weight scales with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs scale
OTTAWA – Carleton Athletics has removed all scales measuring weight in its gym and replaced them with Abraham Maslow’s theoretical Hierarchy of Needs. “Gym-goers need to measure the things …
Newfoundland blown off course, last spotted drifting near Canary Islands
ATLANTIC OCEAN – The province of Newfoundland was blown well off course by one of the most intense wind storms the island has ever seen. It was last spotted on the other side of the Atlanti…
TD offering account insurance to protect against TD-related fraud
TORONTO – In response to allegations that the bank had pressured its employees to break the law to meet sales targets, TD is now providing account insurance to prevent TD-related fraud and …
