CLEVELAND – In a controversial speech at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump promised the United States that undying sexual rapture could be theirs, if only they would give themselves over to the desecration of flesh.
“What President Obama and Crooked Hillary know, and don’t want you to know is, you can get a Grade-A orgasm that lasts forever, if you cut on your body. That’s true,” said Trump. “Ask anyone, it’s one of the things we’re seeing in this country.”
Throughout the speech, Trump positioned himself as the law and order candidate, but also as the candidate of sensual delirium that will not relent, no matter how much you beg for it to relent.
“On January 20th, the day I take my oath of office, Americans are going to wake up in a changed country,” said Trump, raising his toupee to reveal the exposed pleasure center of his brain, saturated with electrodes. “And I don’t wanna get into the specifics of it, but the kind of things I’m interested in are very forbidden to Islam, and also every religion.”
Trump hit repeatedly in his speech on such charged themes as illegal immigration, corporate power, and investing hundreds of millions of dollars in the pursuit of extradimensional sexual pain.
“Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-kk-uhhh-kk,” said Trump’s lipless running-mate, The Chattering One, before being interrupted by Trump, who then spoke for another fifteen minutes.
While Trump’s supporters were at first tentative about yielding to the unthinkable extremes of sadomasochism, they have since come to decide that it is good, after being told it is good.
“Explorers . . . in the further realms of experience,” said Melania Trump, swinging ecstasy hooks out into the frenzied crowd. “Demons to some, angels to others.”
This is the biggest boost the Trump campaign has received since he was released from his puzzle box by Jeb Bush last year.
