PRINCE ALBERT, SK — Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall beamed with pride to announce Canada’s first oil pipeline that will deliver unrefined crude oil via the Saskatchewan River to household taps in Prince Albert and North Battleford.
The new Husky Oil pipeline – named the ‘Still-Safer-Than-Rail Pipeline’ – has already been flowing out of sinks, bathtubs, and garden hoses from the province’s north-central residential and commercial properties for a week now.
“In cooperation with Husky, we’ve used our innovation to use existing public drinking water infrastructure so oil and other petrochemical products can be sent straight to the consumer,” announced Wall at a press conference along the oil laden Saskatchewan River. “Saskatchewaners won’t have to go to the gas station anymore to fill up when they can just turn on their kitchen faucets.”
The provincial government hopes this easier gateway for consumer access will create many jobs in the household oil refinery, dead bird collection, and potable water delivery industries. Saskatchewan Tourism also hopes the new pipeline will finally give Canadians a reason to intentionally visit Saskatchewan.
According to sources, residents in Prince Albert were fighting over the last bottle of drinkable water.
