WHITEHORSE — World leading scientists, mathematicians, and economists are flocking to Whitehorse to study one of the greatest scientific riddles: why used items being on Kijiji are substantially higher than retail prices at local stores.
“This unique problem has been plaguing modern science for years,” explained theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. “There are strong theoretical justifications for black holes emitting radiation or the existence of infinite alternate quantum realities, but this mystery of excessive gouging for used products when cheaper, newer items are readily available defies all logic. I call this the Hawkins Inflation.”
Meanwhile, Fields Medal winner Maryam Mirzakhani had been trying to figure a mathematical equation to explain the dumbfounding human behaviour.
“The rate of inflation is clearly exponential, directly proportional to the ease of finding the object new and in stores, but inversely proportional to the object’s actual value… It’s completely counterintuitive. In flagrant violation of the Second Law of Second Hand Thermodynamics.”
Even more baffling are those consumers willing to contact and purchase the overpriced items.
“Why anyone would purchase a rusty CCM bike with a missing chain for double the amount of a new one at Canadian Tire or Wal-Mart?” questioned economist Joseph Stiglitz. “This asymmetrical price information may one day turn modern economies on their heads. I also feel bad for that poor shmuck who recently purchased a mouldy sofa for $1200 when its actual value is only $50.”
According to the buy-and-sell website, the most recent ad for a basement bachelor apartment was charging $1700 with no pets, visitors or tenants allowed inside.
With files from Jennifer Whyte
