TORONTO – After a breathtaking match against Suriname, the Canadian water hockey team has surged to victory, claiming Canada’s first green ribbon in the 2015 Pan Am Games.
“We went out there, we gave it 110 percent, and we left it all on the half-submerged field,” said starting point forward, Terrence Nicholson. “The fact that we were able to beat the Surinamese at this, their national game, says a lot about how far this team has come.”
The news comes as a relief to team Canada fans, who were rocked earlier in the week by St. Lucia’s surprise victory in Low-Hoop, and the Canadians’ disappointing mauve-ribbon finish.
“We were worried in the first fifth, when Suriname was up by six and had possession of the flag,” said defence winger Chuck Vallery. “But when our guys set aside their differences and just focused on throwing the giant inflatable puck over the nets and into those corner pockets, things really started to come together.”
Vallery went on to say he was sure that canuck gumption would help Canada down into the inverse-podium for crawl polo, quintuples tennis, and jask, as well.
“This thrilling match just goes to show that the Pan Am games are just as good and interesting as the Olympics,” said Pan Am spokesperson Monica Alvares. “Where else can you see an entire hemisphere gathered into one city in the name of sport?”
“Other than at the Olympics and the World Cup and a couple of other things?”
As the drama of the games heightens, hundreds of thousands of people have flooded into the city of Toronto, coming from nations as diverse as Belize, San Caymador, The Benedict Islands, and Quebec.
“I’m overjoyed that Torontonians have gotten so into the spirit of these games,” said Mayor John Tory. “If they hadn’t, I probably would have been a real bitch about it.”
At press time, crowds were delighted when the mascot of the 2015 games, Percival the Spiny Rabbit, used the ceremonial torch to light the symbolic pile of money on fire, thereby kicking off yet another day of games.
