OTTAWA – Chief of Defence Staff General Tom Lawson has a reportedly innate desire to overlook and dismiss the sexual assault and harassment within the Canadian Armed Forces.
“It’s not my fault; it’s simply my biological wiring,” said General Lawson explaining why a report by a retired Chief Justice found sexual misconduct endemic in the Canadian military. “It’s natural for me to forget a sexually-charged joke I overheard in the office or a misogynistic saying like ‘RMC: where the boys are men and so are the women.’
Ha! That was a good one!” said Lawson nostalgically about his time at his alma mater.
Lawson further justified that the military’s reluctance to create an independent resource centre for victims of sexual assault was the result of his ‘masculine tendencies’ and his naturally high level of testosterone.
“Charles Darwin explained Generals naturally turn a blind eye for the preservation of their institution; it’s all about natural selection here,” lectured Lawson before moving onto his Freudian explanation on sexual chants.
At press time, Lawson and his long time friend, Justice Minister Peter MacKay, we’re planning a guy’s night out.
