GREECE – The IMF has been forced to swallow huge amounts of debt after it was discovered that all of Greece had mysteriously been killed by tragic falls, wine cask explosions, capsized boats, unidentified murders, arson, and animal attacks.
“The real tragedy is that we haven’t been able to identify any suspects in any of last night’s 11 million deaths,” said IMF coroner John Lipsky. “Also, it seems like all of Greece’s security cameras were disabled. We may never know what happened to these poor people.”
“Emphasis on ‘poor’.”
While some believe the timing of the deaths to be suspicious, most point out that Greek PM, Alexis Tsipras, had made multiple statements about being “excited to pay back the IMF” and how he was “really looking forward to the private firework display [he] had organized.” Unfortunately, Tsipras was killed over the weekend in a freak firework explosion.
“We went looking for a debt repayment early Monday but all the banks were closed,” said IMF head Christine Lagarde. “Apparently every bank manager in the country met with an untimely demise last night,” she added without noticing the corpse of the bank manager’s eyes opening to check if she was still there.
At press time, Italy was walking into a bank wearing sunglasses and a scarf in order to collect the life insurance money they had taken out on Greece just the week before.
