OTTAWA – With the release of Justin Trudeau’s biography just around the corner, early readers have been surprised by the Liberal leader’s honest, lengthy, and exclusive discussion of hair products.
“Some would say that three chapters of in-depth conditioner comparisons have no place in an autobiography,” Trudeau said. “But those same people are probably also using ‘Head and Shoulders’.”
Trudeau began writing about hair after noticing that his father’s memoirs were very thin on the subject. Despite spending nearly 1/3rd of the book on the topic, Justin Trudeau says he’s barely scratched the surface of his haircare knowledge.
“I didn’t even talk about dry shampoo, despite always using a little Keratin Complex powder around midday for a quick touch-up,” Trudeau explained. “It’s a little trick I picked up on the campaign tra- Oh my god, I completely forgot to talk about the benefits of Moroccan Oil treatment!”
The book also contains many of Trudeau’s opinions on international politics, including the best countries to buy mousse, 5 tips for keeping a clean look in the Middle East, and whether Malaysian Prime Minister, Najib Razak, is wearing a toupee.
Many political pundits are unsure that the lengthy discussion of hair will improve Trudeau’s chances at the polls.
“See, what Trudeau doesn’t understand is that we’re a working class nation,” said Ezra Levant. “Vidal Sassoon is not the shampoo of the people! Trudeau is up there in his ivory tower, totally ignoring the Garnier Fructis public.”
Earlier this week, Harper revealed that he gets his unique hairstyle by staring intently at his unruly hair follicles until they fall into line.
