LOS ANGELES – Fans of actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie found themselves at a crossroads this week, after news of the celebrity couple’s recent nuptials failed to add a trace of meaning to their own lives.
“I guess I just assumed everything would make sense once they finally got hitched,” explained Miami resident Trish Goddard, 37. “Or at least that I’d feel as happy and fulfilled as they do. But I don’t. I feel exactly as empty and confused about why I’m on this Earth, and what my place is in this world, as I did before they got married.”
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon expressed his own frustration with the “Brangelina” union, noting its failure to end all war, injustice, and famine in the world.
“It’s almost,” he noted, “like their marriage has nothing to do with any of us.”
