SARNIA, ON – A pair of Burger King executives were late for a merger meeting after being stuck in a line for over 20-minutes at a local Tim Hortons.
The quick service restaurant executives decided to walk into the coffee shop to merge the two restaurant giants, but were shocked to discover the line was already reaching the door.
“Why didn’t we take the drive-thru?” asked VP of Sales, Marc Ashbury, of Burger King CEO Daniel S. Schwartz. “At the rate this merger is taking we won’t even make it to the cottage until after dark. Maybe there’s another Timmies on the 401?”
“As soon as we leave the line is going to start moving. Just stand there and be quiet!” Schwartz snapped back. “Christ, it’s 3:30pm; don’t these people have jobs?”
After waiting 10 minutes, the pair had not even made it to the retractable line barrier and were becoming frustrated with the sheer number of customers ordering coffees. At one point, the $22 billion merger was nearly scrapped altogether when Schwartz lost his temper after a customer changed his mind three times over what types of Timbits he wanted.
“Seriously? Just get 5 of each and then get the fuck out!” Schwartz muttered under his breath as he stared daggers at the customer. “Are his co-workers really going to give a shit about a missing chocolate glaze?”
At press time, Schwartz and Ashbury were reportedly enjoying their Starbucks coffee.
