TORONTO – As the World Pride parade drew to a close on Sunday, crowds received a special treat when the Creator of the Universe unexpectedly arrived on a specially designed float.
“What’s up, my crazy Sodomites?!” shouted the supreme spiritual entity to a screaming crowd. “What’s a deity gotta do to get a libation around here?”
God, best known for the racy series of “Testament” books, was making his first public appearance in almost 2000 years after seeing “how much fun everyone was having”. Wearing nothing but electrical tape on his nipples and a G-string emblazoned with Romans 12:1,
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship”,
God rode his Heaven-themed float through the throng of excited parade-goers.
“Well of course we thought He might be coming,” said executive director Kevin Beaulieu. “But we also know how busy he is, what with running all of Creation, and didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”
“We’re just glad the big Queen managed to find the free time.”
God also found time to speak privately to reporters about some of his previous inflammatory statements regarding LGBTQ issues.
“Looking back, I said some really silly things about homosexuality,” said God. “Stoning? Eternal damnation? If you ask me, those sound like the words of an all-powerful being who maybe isn’t all that secure in His own sexuality.”
God told reporters he’d only be staying until the end of the festival, but that he’d be back in August for Michelle and Larissa’s wedding.
