BEVERLY HILLS, CA — With the Oscars tonight, Hollywood cryogenicists are quickly defrosting of 79-year-old legendary film actor Jack Nicholson to attend.
The acclaimed Batman and Terms of Endearment star, who for most of the year is preserved in liquid nitrogen inside the cryonics lab below the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences headquarters in Beverly Hills, has been a mainstay of the Academy Awards since 1969.
“An Oscar ceremony without Jack Nicholson just isn’t an Oscar ceremony,” said lead cryogenicist Dr. Adam Lowen while using a system of cables and pulleys to hoist the three-time Academy Award winning actor — completely nude apart from his trademark dark sunglasses — and lower him into a tuxedo.
Some Oscar buffs might remember that Nicholson, who has been suspended in a nebulous, death-like state since last year’s Oscar award ceremony and kept alive with regular injections of a low-temperature solution of cryoprotectants directly into his bloodstream, garnered his first Academy Award nomination after his stellar performance as local drunk George Hanson in Easy Rider.
At press time, Beverly Hills scientists have confirmed the attendance electrically reanimated Mickey Rooney.
