TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors’ recent success has led head coach Nick Nurse to promise the team that Drake will step down as the team’s “global ambassador” if the Raptors win their next 4 games.
“It’s just been weird,” said point guard Kyle Lowry. “He’ll show up in the locker room after the game wanting us to come hang out with him and his “crew”, and it’ll be like 7 white guys from Forest Hill who still live with their parents and want to go out for all-you-can-eat sushi or something. We’re just not into it.”
Nurse is hoping the removal of Drake will help the team as many of the players have explained that playing to the song “Fancy” every night has bordered on a traumatic experience.
“Even when I try to sleep at night, I’m tormented by the lyrics “Nails done, hair done, everything did” a visibly sleep deprived Lowry sighed.
