OTTAWA – Lineups have already begun to form in front of the Parliament buildings after Prime Minister Harper’s midnight announcement that the terrifying haunted House of Commons would be open to the public starting at 8pm.
“Do you laugh in the face of legislated terror? Can you ignore the PMs who go bump in the night? Have you stared deep into the void of the senate and not blinked when it stared back?” said Harper, sweeping his cape in front of his face. “Then come to Parliament for a night of mandated fright… if you dare.”
Visitors can expect spooky surprises all over the creepified federal legislature building. Official press releases from the PC party warn incautious explorers of the horde of zombies that have been spotted in the backbenches and the horrible banshee rumoured to haunt the chair of the Foreign Affairs Minister.
“It’s good to see the Economic Action Plan at work,” said attendee Sean Paddock. “I came all the way from New Brunswick. Had to leave the kids at home, though. Figure I should start them with municipal or provincial scares or it’ll just be another ‘The Ring’ fiasco.”
The Conservatives aren’t the only ones getting in on the fun. Sources say that opposition leader Thomas Mulcair spent over five minutes growing out his beard for a Gandalf costume, while Green Leader Elizabeth May spent $109.61 to dress as an oil drum and Justin Trudeau was spotted strutting around as “Slutty Justin Trudeau.”
“Boo!” said a ghost to surprised assembled reporters. “Ou vous souhaitez être effrayé en français: la Bou!”
At press time, everybody thought that Patrick Brazeau’s Chris Brown costume was in poor taste.
