TORONTO – After being let go from his dream job coaching the Don Bosco Eagles, local man Robert Ford has been forced to rely on his secondary source of income as mayor of the City of Toronto.
“We felt that Mr. Ford was never really present” said Don Bosco Principal, Ugo Rossi, “It was almost as if he had somewhere else to be.”
Ford, who has been working evenings and weekends at city hall, has missed crucial strategy meetings and on-field huddles, due to his other commitments.
Rumours of his dismissal began to circle shortly after Ford’s tenure began. He became known for forcing plays believed to be costly and inefficient. Ford’s family has said that, in light of the job’s difficulty, these allegations are “ridiculous”.
“People don’t realize how difficult it is to be a football coach,” said Ford’s brother, Douglas, “I mean, you’re responsible for so many people.”
Students on the football team have reportedly been left “directionless” by the departure of their coach.
“I don’t want to play now that RoFo is gone,” said one student, “but it seems as though all the local libraries and community centres have been shut down.”
With Ford’s on-field troubles compounded by recent reports of unethical behaviour, members of the PTA have expressed relief that he has been let go.
“I had my private doubts about Ford for a while,” said local mother Jane Wilson.
“Thank God he’s been taken out of a position of power.”
