LETHBRIDGE – An ardent anti-abortionist is disappointed that the renowned pro-choice advocate Henry Morgentaler never returned any of his menacing phone messages.
“It’s like he pretended I didn’t even exist,” said Jonathan Bigelow, a local machinist. “Over the years, I sent him phone message after phone message telling him that he was killing innocent babies every day, but for some reason he never took the time to pick up the phone to call me back. We could have had an enriching discussion if only he’d been better at returning calls.”
Bigelow has been trying to threaten Morgentaler by phone for the past seven years, but Morgentaler has never responded to his creative and eloquent tirades about his impending doom.
“I tried everything from calling him at home, office, cottage and his grandchildren’s school, but no acknowledgement about how he’s the anti-Christ and should be wiped off the face of the earth,” Bigelow added. “I feel I was so close to getting him to change his mind on abortion issues and my next death threat was going to be really persuasive. If only I had had a little more time to get through to him.”
