Langley, BC – Local man Eric Anderson is confident that, even if he becomes Conservative leader, Pierre Poilievre’s extreme right-wing positions will make him totally unelectable, des…
Tag: politics
Local man wishes there was more he could do about Roe v. Wade
WILMINGTON, DELAWARE ― With the ramifications of the reversal of Roe v. Wade beginning to ripple across the country, pro-choice Americans are seeking out ways of helping maintain access to aborti…
Country fails to see the symbolism in taking down pride flags on Canada Day
OTTAWA – The first day of July, also known as Canada Day, is a holiday Canadians spend going to the beach, setting off fireworks, and taking down pride flags nationwide. The federal government ma…
Excited Democrats speculate that if Republicans strip 1 or 2 more fundamental rights away, they might win the midterms
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of the Supreme Court’s ruling overturning Roe v. Wade and Republican states taking immediate measures to ban abortion and force women to give birth, a bo…
Strung out province comes crawling back to Dealer for another hit
TORONTO – After swearing they were done with him and everything he offers, the province of Ontario has come crawling back to its dealer for another taste. “Hey man! You holding any hi…
I can’t fucking believe I’m about to win again either
By: Doug Ford Look, there is no one more surprised than me that Ontario has apparently liked what I’ve done over the last 4 years. I never thought I was going to win in the first place. One…
“I don’t know anything about the other candidates” is both worst and best reason to vote for Ford
Halton Hills, ON ― Political analysts have determined that your grandfather’s rationale for voting Conservative in June of “I haven’t heard anything about this Del Duca guy” is complete bullshit,…
Steven Del Duca takes 10 awkward seconds to recall name of current Ontario Liberal Leader
Chatham,ONT – At a campaign rally today, Steven Del Duca paused during his stump speech and appeared to take 10-12 seconds to remember the name of the current Ontario Liberal Party leader. …
With midterms approaching, many fear democrats are running out of time to completely alienate the left
Washington – With only six months until the 2022 midterm election, many within the Democratic National Committee are worried that the young, energetic, left wing voter base behind candidate…
School Board mandates bullies begin performing “Lunch Money Acknowledgements”
WINNIPEG – A Manitoba school board has adopted a policy requiring bullies to acknowledge the previous “stewards and caretakers” of the lunch money they steal from peers before spending it. …